CAUTION: BEWARE OF THE DANGEROUSNESS OF ANTENNAS!

So today I was biking home from school totally minding my own business and reflecting over the happenings of that day at school. That fact that yo comprendo nada spanish,  the awkward moment when a teacher said “take our your pens” and I thought they said something completely different and very inappropriate and then the usual bitching over people who always complain (making myself a complainer and therefore a hypocrite?). Anyhow, so I was on my bike thinking about why the hell I would even begin to think that the teacher might have even said “take out your penis” and then I suddenly got the weirdest epiphany. Car antennas. They were all of a sudden the most wonderful thing that had ever happened on the planet. It was the weirdest thing ever. I mean… I always knew they were there but they are usually made to look as small and thin as possible so that people cant see them. And the reason why car companies probably don’t want you to really notice or see them is because of what I am about to tell you. But first of all I need to assure you that I was not on any kind of drugs while coming to this realization. So ya, I began seeing all the cars like creatures. It was pretty much like I WAS Shia Lebeouf in Transformers! It was wack because it was just like. Oh well the headlights are the eyes and then some cars have antennas on the front by the window, some have it placed in the middle of the car in the back, which made it totally look like a bumper car or something like that, but that’s besides the point. The point is that this total fascination with antennas and trying to imagine cars as moving objects almost ended my life. And before I continue, I know that I sound like I was totes high or something but let’s stop pretending like you haven’t ever imagined what cars would be like if they were humans. We’ve all done it at some point or another. It’s sort of like wondering if animals can communicate. It just comes across your mind every once in a while. Right?… That happens to people?… Right?… No?… I’m the only one?… Oh whatever… maybe I was high. Who the hell knows anymore. But back to how these darned antennas almost killed me! K so I was so into this whole transformers world that I totally forgot that I was still biking! I was just biking as I was passing car after car observing where the placement of their antenna was and then I almost got run over! It was like my life flashed before my eyes! You know when you get that sudden moment of panic and you feel like you’re having a heart attack? I GOT ONE OF THOSE! It was so not cool. And then I realized like dammmn yo! Something as stupid as antennas could have ended my life in a flash! So from now whenever I see antennas on cars I will always think of that one time in high school when the very thought of real life transformers almost ended my life.

 

Jesper Thunström

 

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