JESPER’S GUIDE TO SPEAKING ENGLISH LIKE A NATIVE SPEAKER – PART 2: Personalization

So in the first part to my guide to speaking english as a native langue I talked about slang and if you haven’t read it I suggest doing so pronto. In that tid-bit I talk about the necessity of personalization of your slang and that is so important that I thought it deserved a whole piece on it’s own. I have become somewhat known for my use and abuse of words and phrases until they become a part of my personality. If you ask anyone in my class they can probably mention a few phrases that I say on the daily, or more accurately, 284 times a day. I thought that I could start you off with some of the things that I usually say and you can construct your language from there. This list is things that I have commonly said ever since Grade 9 so i’m bringing back some things I said before up until today.

1. Y’alls.
As much as I say that i’m John Williams from Montgomery, Alabama… the truth is i’m not. As much as it pains me to say that I still see no issue with using y’alls excessively. Okay well there is one issue… y’all is a conjunction between you and all and you alls doesn’t make sense what-so-ever. BUT remember what I said! SCREW GRAMMAR! Don’t let the limitations of grammar hinder you from letting loose and saying whatever comes to mind.

2. Shin Dig.
I’ve noticed that a lot of people don’t know what this means whenever I say it but i’m stubborn enough to explain it to every person that asks so they know what it means. Basically, it means a get-together or gathering. So a mini-party type thing with
friends = shin dig.

3. ¡Hola Chicas!
The go to salute of year 1. There wouldn’t be a time where I wouldn’t greet my ladies with the spanish equivalent of Hi Girls. This follows the language barrier rule. It’s commonly understood and is a cool fresh way of saying hello to someone.

4. That’s just rude.
I’m pretty sure this was my response to every single sentiment anyone would utter in year 1, whether it actually be rude or not. That’s just rude. That’s just rude. That’s just rude all day errday.

5. Funky.
Best adjective of life! Why go with cool, unique, awesome or weird when you can go with funky! The use is commonly paired with pants. “Funky pants” is the current trend of wearing patterned pants in all the worlds different patterns and colours. I need me a pari of funky pants! Groovy is an acceptable alternative to funky.

6. Go home.
Still use it from time to time but this is a standard Jesper response whenever anyone says anything really. Sarcastic rudeness is the key peeps.
CAUTION use only with closest friends and people who understand you are sarcastic.

7. Oh My Jesus (OMJ).
Oh my god is just overused. This is a typical Jesper twist on a common saying. Spice it up by replacing the religious figure with another. In
EXTREME cases Oh My Mary Magdelene can be used. But don’t let Christianity limit you either, why not bring forward Oh My Mohammed? Beats me. Be creative peeps!

8. “Är du galentjej?”
I just realized that I haven’t said this is AGES but it’s definitely one of the best of the year. It was introduced early this year and used all the time just like any other of my phrases. galentjej would refer to female galenburk being the male alternative. And yes, men are obviously cans.

9. Peeps. You might be able to tell that i’ve already used this a few times in this piece but what can I say? People = too long (6 letters to be exact and TWO whole
syllables) Peeps = perfect length (5 letters and ONE SOLE syllable) This will save you time and make you sound cool. What’s to lose?

10. Honestly.
Very commonly matched with an “eh?” at the end of the sentence but eh deserves a whole sole article so you’ll have to wait for Part 3 for that. Honestly is a way of showing agreement with what someone just said though. So if my friend would say “We should totes cancel the month of May and all the tests in it” “HONESTLY EH?” would be a standard response.

11.Wack.
Alternative spelling could be whack. Haven’t really made up my mind about how I want to spell it but most likely wack since whack means to hit something and that’s NOT what this means. Wack derives from the word wacky but just like with peeps, wacky is too long. Wack is much better. So if something is wack then it’s weird, out of the ordinary type dealio.

12.Is it not?
Another form of agreeing but only when someone states a fact about how something is. So “Vanuatu is the most beautiful place on the planet!” “Is it not?” As in yes… yes it is.

13.Calm jesus!
Apparently I like the religious slang even though i’ve been to church a grand total of 0 times in my life. Calm down = no. Calm jesus = YES! But it means the same thing as calm down.

14.Groady.
Gross, disgusting, revolting, appalling. All synonyms for my favourite adjective for something repulsive, GRODY! Blood = Groady. Toes = Groady
TORPEDOES = Groady.

15.Which brings me too… torpedoes.
Bosoms. They are out to attack me. A revealing top is considered as threatening of a stance as North Korea. Don’t do it. They will attack.

16.Fam Jam.
The faaaamily. But this just makes them seem like your cool dance crew. Or your ultra gay family music sessions where everyone smiles and wears unicorn shirts. But to me fam jam is just the good old ‘rents and sistas.

17. You best be jokin’.
So last article I said “Y’alls best be joshin’” was prohibited and also said that it sounds like something I would say… this is darn close. But this follows the rule of playing with verb tenses. Best is better than better so why not use best?

18. Amaze Balls.
A fan-freakin-tastic alternative to ”amazing” but as any of the other generic terms that have been transformed above, this is a quirky option. Note that it is still an adjective… so no… it isn’t talking about sensational testicles. (But if you really wanted to you could describe the male genitalia as amaze balls…if you really want to)

So that was my list of words and phrases to get you started on your own words and phrases to say. As I mentioned, become iconic for having the coolest catchphrases in town by freshening it up and being unique… or as I like to say, funky! Stay tuned for Part 3 where I talk all about the word that everyone knows Canadians say but few know what it really means. Eh?

 

Slang

Kommentera

Fyll i dina uppgifter nedan eller klicka på en ikon för att logga in:

WordPress.com Logo

Du kommenterar med ditt WordPress.com-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Twitter-bild

Du kommenterar med ditt Twitter-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Facebook-foto

Du kommenterar med ditt Facebook-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Google+ photo

Du kommenterar med ditt Google+-konto. Logga ut / Ändra )

Ansluter till %s